


dear brendon

by vicesgerard



Series: Dear You [2]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Sequel, co-written with my friend deliah (iampanic) on wattpad, well this fic is angsty as shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 14:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15245043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vicesgerard/pseuds/vicesgerard
Summary: SEQUEL TO DEAR RYANdear brendoni lost youit hurtsi'm sorryloveryan





	1. i fucked up big time

1st of january

dear brendon

 

i lost you

it hurts

it feels like i can't breathe anymore

when you left you took a piece of me with you

it's my fault

i fucked up big time

i'm sorry

 

love

ryan


	2. i miss you so much it hurts

7th of february

dear brendon

 

the past few weeks have been brutal

i miss you so much it hurts

i try to call you everyday

but you won't pick up

i'm so so sorry baby

i love you

 

love

ryan


	3. you avoided me

8th of february

dear brendon

 

i saw you at the mall today

you looked tired

i still think you're the most beautiful person on earth

i wanted to talk to you

you saw me

but you avoided me

i'm sorry for what happened

 

love

ryan


	4. you hate me now

4th of march

dear brendon

 

i wrote a song for you today

i wish i could sing it to you

it's called northern downpour

i know you would love it

but you hate me now

i still love you

i'm still sorry

 

love

ryan


	5. nothing is the same

5th of march

dear brendon

 

i cry myself to sleep everyday

i miss you being here

i miss your touch

i miss your kisses

since you've been gone i have a hard time falling asleep

it's not the same without you

nothing is the same

 

love

ryan


	6. i wish i could explain

26th of march

dear brendon

 

i try not to cry

but it still hurts

whatever you saw that night

i wish you didn't see it

i wish i could explain

it's not the way you think it is

i would never hurt you

 

love

ryan


	7. i hoped you're come back to me

5th of april

dear brendon

 

you were at our place today

or should i say  _my_ place?

it doesn't sound right

i hoped you'd come back to me

you didn't

you just came to pick up some of your stuff

i'm sorry brendon

 

love

ryan


	8. i'm in pain

7th of april

dear brendon

 

remember that one time we talked about our future?

how we would get married

and how we would adopt a child or two

it seems like there is no future for us anymore

it's all my fault

i'm in pain

so are you

because of me

i'm sorry

 

love

ryan


	9. now you think of me as cheater

8th of april

dear brendon

 

i saw you at a café today

you saw me too

you immediately left

i remember that you thought i was the most beautiful human being

now you think of me as a cheater

i'm not a cheater

 

love

ryan


	10. you saw

10th of april

dear brendon

 

it was on new year's eve when i ruined us

i was outside

waiting for you

people started to count down from ten

a girl went up to me

she kissed me when the countdown ended

i wanted you to be my new years kiss

right at that moment you came

you saw

i pushed her away immediately

i didn't even kiss her back

you didn't give me the chance to explain

yet i'm still sorry you had to see that

 

love

ryan


	11. please come back

11th of april

dear brendon

 

i didn't cheat

i would never cheat on you

i love you

you're the love of my life

i'm nothing without you

please come back

 

love

ryan


	12. maybe you'll love me again

12th of april

dear brendon

 

i still call you everyday

i'm surprised you haven't blocked my number yet

it gives me hope

maybe you'll let me explain one day

maybe you'll forgive me

maybe you'll love me again

 

love

ryan


	13. please hear me out

14th of april

dear brendon

 

you picked up my call today

i was silent for the first few seconds

i didn't expect you to pick up

i'm glad you did

i asked you if we could talk

you told me there was nothing to talk about

you hung up

you're wrong

there is something to talk about

please hear me out

i love you and i'm sorry

 

love

ryan


	14. don't give up on us

17th of april

dear brendon

 

i don't know what to do anymore

i spend most of my time laying in bed

thinking about you

thinking about how i could get you back

it seems like you don't want me back

i will keep fighting for you

because i love you

don't give up on us

 

love

ryan


	15. you always made me laugh

20th of april

dear brendon

 

i can't remember the last time i laughed or smiled

i think it was when i was still with you

you always made me laugh

nowadays i'm just crying at the memory of it

i miss and love you

 

love

ryan


	16. i don't want to move on

25th of april

dear brendon

 

everyone tells me to move on

to forget you

i don't want to move on

neither do i want to forget you

you are the best thing that has ever happened to me

i'm sorry

i love you

 

love

ryan


	17. his words felt like knives

6th of may

dear brendon

 

my friend told me he saw you with someone

he said it looked like you had a date

his words felt like knives

brendon

please don't be in love with someone else

i love you

 

love

ryan


	18. hope

10th of may

dear brendon

 

you called me today

you apologized for your behavior when we last talked on the phone

you said you wanted to meet me

you wanted to hear me out

there it was again

hope

you aren't in love with someone else

you are in love with me

you must be

 

love

ryan


	19. you looked sad

12th of may

dear brendon

 

we met at the library today

it had always been  _our_ favorite place

i told you the whole story

i told you i wasn't a cheater

i told you i would never hurt you

it was hard for me to hold back the tears

i think you noticed

you looked said

i don't know if you believe me

do you believe me?

please believe me

i love you

 

love

ryan


	20. when you're ready i'm here

13th of may

dear brendon

 

you told me to give you time

you needed to think about it

i'll give you as much time as you need

and when you're ready i'm here

i love you so much

 

love

ryan


	21. northern downpour

20th of may

dear brendon

 

it's been a week since we've talked

you came over today

i told you to sit down

to let me say something before you do

i had to get this out

i told you i wrote a song for you

i could swear i saw you smiling

i starting playing the guitar

and i started singing


	22. tears of joy

_i know the worlds a broken bone_

_but melt your headaches_

_call it home_

20th of may

dear brendon

 

you started crying while i was singing

i hate seeing you cry

but those were tears of joy

you smiled at me throughout the whole song

i missed seeing you smile

 

love

ryan


	23. i almost cried

20th of may

dear brendon

 

i finished playing the song

i put my guitar away

you immediately hugged me

i almost cried

maybe i did cry

just a little

i missed you brendon

i love you

and i'm sorry for hurting you

 

love

ryan


	24. i will love you till the end of time

1st of june

dear brendon

 

you came back to me

i didn't see that day coming

i thought i had lost you forever

but i haven't

you came back

i love you to the moon and back brendon

i will never hurt you again

i will love you till the end of time

i know you will too

 

love

ryan

_the end_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm Drennie! I hope you enjoyed the Dear You series, and if you did please feel free to check out my other works! I'm quite active on Wattpad (at vicesgerard on there as well) and I'd love if you'd check out my works on there as not everything I post on there is posted on here (and vice versa; I don't post collabs on my Wattpad, so all of those are only available on here)!  
> Have a good day/night!


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